Dear Gibbous
by Toraptor
Summary: Lea lived for every moment, because he knew more than anyone it could end any time. Isa lived for the sense of normalcy that had seemed impossible. Roxas lived for the breeze on his face and the taste of salt on his tongue. Xion lived for the warmth in her chest and the smiles on their faces. Most of all, they lived.
1. Chapter 1

**WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR KINGDOM HEARTS III. MAY CAUSE A PHENOMENA WHEN SALTY LIQUID BEGINS TO PROFUSE FROM TEAR DUCTS. IF SENSATION CONTINUES AFTER FIFTEEN MINUTES, READ MORE FLUFF. **

* * *

Chapter One: Ice Cream and the Moon

"The moon's not that great."

There was a quiet whisper of admonishment from Xion after Roxas's brazen and blunt statement, the look of dismay on her face showing how much she'd hoped they'd gotten passed the trading-insults part of their relationship. At some point, Isa had realized being ornery was part of Roxas as a person and stopped taking it personally.

He bit off some ice cream, letting it melt inside his mouth, enjoying the disgusted expression on Lea's face as he watched (of the two of them, Isa never got cold headaches), and waited for Roxas to finish his statement.

"It didn't invent ice cream, after all."

Xion let out a laugh, half relieved, half amused.

"Who did invent ice cream?" she asked.

"The moon," said Isa flatly.

It took a moment for his words to register with Roxas and Xion, their faces going through a complicated struggle of emotions as they processed it. Eventually, they whirled around, eyes wide, while Lea choked on his ice cream in the background.

"No way," said Roxas. "I call bullshit."

"Language," said Lea halfheartedly.

"It did," said Isa, leaning forward on his knee, his fingers laced primly. His voice was dry as bone. "The moon was so cold that humans attempted to gain its favor by sending it things they loved: like sweets, salt, and blue food coloring. From the union, sea-salt ice cream was born. It's a sacred dessert."

Xion wavered, worrying her thumb in her other hand, chewing on her lip. If the cogs in her head turned any harder, they'd start smoking. A little piece of Isa that secretly loved scrolling through cute puppy pictures for hours on end wanted to have mercy on her and tell the truth already. The cold-hearted savage that was born from years of friendship with Lea and decades of prank wars held out, steady and true.

It was Roxas who broke, slamming a hand on his thigh.

"No way, that can't be right! You guys used to buy it from that duck!"

"And where did you think the duck got it from?"

"I—You—you are not going to convince me sea-salt ice cream comes from the moon!" he yelled, strangely serious, and yet not at all so: ice cream was serious business. "Tell the truth."

"Lea, they don't believe me."

Lea let out a surprised wheeze, a hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, asthma attack."

"You don't have asthma," said Roxas.

"It's all coming back now."

"You've never had asthma," Xion sighed.

"You kids are gonna give me asthma."

The conversation went downhill from there, ending with many unique threats of bodily harm and the promise of using someone's toothbrush to scrub the mayor's toilet. On that topic, Isa made a mental note to buy himself a private stash of toothbrushes. He also needed salt for the morning glasses of milk.

Life was not always conventional with them, that evening on the clock tower a testimony to the fact.

Lea often woke up shaking, rubbing his hands through his hair, only to press them to his heart and sit there, utterly still and silent. Listening. Sometimes, Xion would stand in one spot for hours on end, staring into nothing at all; there were days she spoke of Sora's adventures as though it were she wielding the Kingdom Key, and Isa worried.

And Isa worried.

Roxas, in his own way, worried, too. He was saner than any of them, in the most peculiar of ways. He had his habits, his schedules, his routine. No one dared touch it, because so long as it was there, he was fine. Roxas's routine included ice cream on Sundays. On Mondays, they went to Radiant Garden for check ups with the apprentices. Isa would stay the night into Tuesday. Either one—or all—of them would stay, or someone would pick him—or them—up. Wednesday, they did casual studies: math, grammar, reading, the likes. Thursdays through Saturdays were a bit of a toss up, usually littered with missions, as those were the keyblade wielders of the group's officially scheduled days for missions. It was a good schedule and worked for all of them.

Isa still worried.

He would open his eyes to a room where everything was out of place. A sofa would be rearranged, a mug in the wrong counter. He would fix it all, only to realize it was still out of place. His own body felt cold, moved from its personal comfort zone. It was all he could do not to bite his nails down to the quick and find a small, quiet place to curl up in. Losing his heart twice had done something to him.

Those were the kinds of things the Apprentices wanted him to speak about during his visits in Radiant Garden. A wrongness in his veins, even as he clung to the vestiges of regularity. Brilliant as they were, they knew there was a whole lake of words dammed up behind his mouth. It pushed, but he pushed back, not quite knowing why. Perhaps it was the remains of his Nobody, clinging to the secrets, to surviving.

Stories grounded him, tales of his past that he'd taken for granted. The rabbit and the moon; the fable of Morgoza; legends and myths alike. Roxas and Xion loved hearing them, so no matter how many times they wanted to hear about the rabbit and the moon, he would repeat it.

On days where noise was too loud and lights made his soul cringe, the others left him inside with a mug of tea and a warm blanket. Lea would sit next to him, pressed into his side, keeping pressure around his shoulders just right. Xion was allowed to believe neither of them had a clue she often snapped pictures of them like that.

Life was not perfect, nor was it ever, but it was life and for that Isa was content.

"I lied."

"What?"

"The moon did not create ice cream."

"You asshole, I knew it!"

"Language!"

* * *

Author's Note: Cross-posting from AO3. Kingdom Hearts III has me shook and crying tears of happiness.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Why Not Taco Tuesday?

Another day, another dozen heartless for Isa to let someone else deal with, because he wasn't returned to human form with special powers. He should have been upset about it, fairly weak compared to the others as he was now, but mostly he reveled in the sensation of being pitifully average.

His first dream left him scrambling for something else to put on his mind, trembling fingers pushing through sweaty hair and a frantic mind going over and over every bit he remembered. Torturous and slow, morning thawed out the night, starting as a cold blue glow on the horizon. Still, the dream lingered.

It haunted him through his breakfast, stole his appetite. He set aside meals for Lea, Xion, and Roxas and forced down a dry protein bar in lieu of a real meal. Tremors of cold sweat had him simultaneously wishing for a blanket, and for the AC.

Throughout the morning tests and questions, he was wooden, hoping not to alert the apprentices. He failed so miserably that Ienzo and Even pulled him away from the others for a heart-to-heart, complete with mugs of tea and blankets and what was supposed to be comforting smiles. They reminded Isa of sharks.

At some point, Ienzo seem to realize neither of them were helping, and let Isa go.

"Tell us if your symptoms worsen," he said.

They both knew he wasn't talking about physical symptoms. One cool green eye was enough to inform Isa that while Ienzo had regained his heart and lost some control over his emotions, he had lost not an ounce of his intelligence. It was both a comfort and a curse.

"Of course," said Isa.

The second dream happened the following night, leaving him in the bathroom, his head against the toilet lid. He didn't vomit, but it was close. No one woke up; he'd half hoped someone would.

As his mind went into a downward spiral of "What's wrong?" and "Why is this happening?" the others slowly clued into the fact he wasn't acting normal. His blissful normalcy, gone.

"Bad dream?"

Lea's voice sprang from the darkness with the force of a legion of heartless, making Isa sit bolt-right up. Lea moved quickly to calm him, hands held out.

"It's just me."

Isa drew his knees up loosely—not enough to be a sign of insecurity, though he longed to curl in on himself—and stared determinedly at the painting on the far wall. A get-well-soon gift from Namine. It really was an intricate painting, starring Lea, Roxas, Xion, and Isa respectively. He could just study it all day.

"Isa."

Or not.

"Are they prophetic?"

A knot tightened in Isa's stomach and he resisted the urge to cradle his head and scream.

"I don't know."

The bed dipped as Lea dropped down next to him, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, it's gotta be pretty bad. Haven't seen you this bad since the week before Radiant Garden fell."

He had foreseen the fall of Radiant Garden, kept it trapped in his chest. As a child, he hoped desperately it was just a nightmare, normal and safe, born from the terror of their friend—a girl known only as X—going missing without warning. She'd vanished into the darkness, so he'd grown afraid of everything vanishing into darkness. It was the logical conclusion. It was the wrong conclusion.

"How different things would have been, had I only listened to those warnings," Isa murmured softly, not wishing to wake the others.

"Who knows?" said Lea. "Maybe we would have lost our hearts later, but not had the strength to become Nobodies. Maybe Xemnas would have filled the ranks with more loyal Nobodies."

"Suggesting that changing the future would have only doomed us?"

"Again, who knows?"

"Very insightful," said Isa, hints of bitterness sour in his mouth. Going off the way Lea stared holes into the side of his head, it wasn't missed. He determinedly stared at the far wall. A dreamcatcher was hanging by the headboard, like some sort of cosmic joke.

Give the man with prophetic dreams a dreamcatcher.

Lea sucked in a breath, whether to speak or sigh was unknown, as he cut it off halfway. Instead, he ran a hand through his hair, scratching the back of his neck. He had to be exhausted, late as it was, and having gone on a long mission earlier. Isa felt a stab of guilt for keeping him awake.

"You wanna tell me about it?"

"No."

"You want me to leave it be?"

"No," the word choked itself out of Isa's mouth.

Lea opened his arms up for a hug and Isa, mortified at his pitiable ability to stem his own waterworks, buried himself in Lea's arms. In turn, Lea smothered himself in the top of Isa's head, breathing deeply.

"How about you tell me how it feels," he murmured gently. His arms were steady and still against Isa's back, squeezing just enough so the contact felt real.

"The dream?"

"What else?"

There was plenty else, but Isa decided not to go there—not yet. He let himself get lost in Lea, Lea's smell and arms and warmth and the rumble of his voice against his ear, the thump of his heart in his chest.

"It feels like… building something when you're bored. And then you get more invested, and it becomes beautiful, and when you step back you're so—proud. But then it's gone. Destroyed or maybe it was never there."

Isa clung to Lea's arm, digging his fingers into the fabric of his sleeve.

Maybe it was never there.

"You know, when you first came back, I had so much time to make up for," said Lea, chuckling a little at a memory, giving Isa's back a brief rub. His chin slotted just perfectly on Isa's head, fitting them together like puzzle pieces. "I wanted to spend every moment with you. You could feel and I could feel. I overwhelmed you at first."

Those first few months were a kaleidoscopic nightmare of colors and emotions, things frozen for so long he had forgotten they existed. The thaw was long and painful, and Lea had been both the bane and poison.

"I thought maybe if I backed away, it'd be better. But that just backfired."

Isa had thought Lea gave up, that he thought Isa was too broken. The sickness in his gut born from that terror had gnawed him out from the inside, nearly left him bedridden.

"I tried to do something, but it was never right."

Isa had snapped at him, so many times.

"I'm sorry—"

"No-no-no," said Lea quickly, giving him a little shake. "Let me finish. I eventually realized that it wasn't what you wanted—it was what we all needed. A house. Jobs. School. Boring stuff like munny. Worrying about the neighbor's dogs tearing up our lawn."

A slight huff of laughter escaped Isa.

"Ignoring our issues doesn't solve them."

"Hmm. I never said it does."

"So, what, then? We ignore it and hope it's nothing?"

Lea pulled away, keeping their hands laced together. Apart, the night air felt much colder.

"You're missing the point, Isa," he said, giving Isa's forehead a poke, earning him a growl. "We needed stability. Something normal to lean on. And dreams are normal. Talking about them is normal, too, so don't bottle it up."

"My dreams aren't normal."

"For you, they are."

The dreamcatcher was spinning in a phantom breeze. He watched it go around, feathers ghostly gray in the moonlight. Lea was pale, looking as though he was cut from the finest marble, but his face was warm and open.

In every corner of Isa's room was a reminder. The painting from Naminé, the dreamcatcher from Riku, the sundial Sora took from Olympus, a nightlight in one corner of the room, courtesy of Xion. He couldn't look anywhere without being reminded there was someone in the universe, in every corner of the universe, who cared.

"The future doesn't look pretty."

"If it's the future."

"But if it is—"

"Then we'll fight it head-on," said Lea, leaning in emphatically, "like we always do."

Isa's mouth twisted into a frown.

"Last time you said that, it didn't end well."

"We were kids, then, and Isa—"

He leaned back, brushing his thumbs over Isa's knuckles, observing him as though there was more to see than nightmares and scars and regrets. Tears dried around his eyes, leaving them scratchy and raw. A smile that was so hopelessly fond it send Isa's stomach into flips, a plaintive kind of smile, bloomed across Lea's face.

"When it's the two of us, I don't think there's an obstacle we can't tackle."

He cradled Isa's face in his hands and pressed a kiss to his temple.

"Get it memorized."

* * *

Isa could never pin down the funnel cloud of emotion he felt while in space. It was a darkness that was unfilled with the dangerous forces thereof. A blanket of stars and moons and planets gleamed, blinking and flashing, filled with a life of their own. Had Radiant Garden's light never winked out, Isa wondered where he would have been now. Perhaps an astrologist, looking at the starry sky and feeling nothing but pure, untainted wonder.

His skin crawled where the harness bit into his neck and he resisted the urge to scratch it, regretting leaving his turtle neck in Twilight Town. Radiant Garden was always warm around these times, so he hadn't needed anything warm.

Something warm and fuzzy was shoved over his head, and Isa had a split second to feel outraged, before there was the snap of a flash.

"Cheese!"

Xion grinned behind the camera, scurrying back to her seat before Lea could reprimand her for undoing the restraints in space. She leaned across the cockpit to show the picture to Roxas, who nodded approvingly.

The urge to cross his arms and sulk was high. Isa reached up and felt one of the soft bunny ears of the hat Xion bought him weeks ago. With the damage done, he left it on, knowing she'd probably already shared it with every number saved on her phone.

He hoped there were a few earwax-flavored jelly beans in his stash. A few of them might just slip into Xion's trail mix. Firmly shoving down a smirk, he leaned back against the chair with contentedness.

There was furious whispering behind him, followed by giggles. Isa was forcibly reminded of himself and Lea, heads together over paper, scheming their latest prank. Their giggles had filled the air back then, lighthearted and free. At the tender age of fifteen, they'd been unaware they possessed such freedom.

"Youth is wasted on the young," the older generation of Radiant Garden would say, whenever Lea and Isa were caught, with varying degrees of annoyance and grudging fondness.

On Xion and Roxas, Isa knew it wouldn't be wasted.

The outline of Radiant Garden became visible, a warm beacon amongst the stars, and before long they were unbuckling from their seats. After the darkness of space, stepping out into the sunlight of Radiant Garden made them feel like moles, squinting and uncertainly shuffling around the road. By some miracle, they made it to the castle without falling off a ledge somewhere and breaking bones, though Isa did suspect he got sunburn.

Royal blue carpeting and velvet curtains hung inside the castle, stained glass windows filtering the light and turning it an array of brilliant colors. The portraits of the apprentices that used to hang on the wall were taken down, replaced by Naminé's murals. It was the for the best, since Ienzo's would have been terribly out of date, and Isa wouldn't have wanted them to stare him down every time he came for testing.

He started toward the labs, but Lea's arm around his shoulders swiftly directed him down another hall. The only explanation he got was a grin and a wink, which simultaneously annoyed him and made his stomach flip.

They were about halfway down the new, and unexplored, hall when the aromas started to reach Isa's nose. A smoky array of familiar scents that immediately caused Isa's stomach to rumble—thankfully not loud enough for anyone to hear. He didn't allow himself to hope as they neared a pair of double doors.

Lea released Isa's shoulders. Isa felt a quick and irrational disappointment.

"Ta-dah!" said Lea, pushing the doors open.

Inside was a dining room, several tables set up and full of food, a delicious array of smells mixing in the air and complimenting the mouthwatering sight of cheese and beef and spices. Even was bustling from table to table, barking out orders, but stopped and smiled when he saw them.

"There you are! Just in time, everything is finished. Ienzo, put that down, it's fine."

"I'm almost finished," said Ienzo with such a look of intense concentration, Isa might have mistaken him for operating on a complicated experiment. He was holding a large bowl of hot sauce, measuring in ingredients with painstaking accuracy.

Words piled up in Isa's throat, building more and more pressure by the second. Try as he might, he couldn't pick the right one, the sentences flitting away every time something new happened. Ienzo, finally setting down the hot sauce at Roxas's claim it was perfect; in the corner, Ansem the Wise himself was standing quietly, a plate in one hand.

It happened in snatches. Lea tugged him toward the tables, loading up plates, rambling on about something—Isa couldn't hear over the roar in his ears—as Xion hunted down the hottest sauce available on Roxas's dare.

"Isa?"

He blinked and time returned to normal pace.

"What is—what?" he said helplessly, motioning to the dining hall, the tables, and the apprentices. "What?"

Lea grinned. It wasn't a novelty, that reaction from him, but Isa felt like it was somehow out of place. The last time he had a full, homecooked meal in Radiant Garden, it was at his home, over ten years ago.

"It's a couple things," said Lea, holding up a hand to count them off. "Fun. Relaxation. Plus, I really wanted a taco."

"Is that all?" said Isa, wide-eyed. "You wanted a taco?"

"And maybe testing Tuesday is a little grim," said Lea, his face softening in a way that informed Isa that absolutely nothing got passed Lea, not now or ever. "I think Taco Tuesday is a good change, don'tcha think?"

"What I think?" said Isa, in numb shock, as warmth bubbled in his heart and threatened to overflow in his damnably watery eyes. He struggled to compose himself for all of thirty seconds, before realizing it was impossible and accepted the inevitable. "I think this was a wonderful idea."

There were twin sighs of relief from Xion and Roxas, and Ienzo was already reaching for a camera (so that was where Xion got it from), as Lea pulled him into a one-armed embrace. Hugging Lea always made everything feel right, so when the tears fell, Isa smiled through them unabashedly.

"However, I also think we will have to have a lengthy discussion about our diets," he said, upon untangling himself from Lea's hold. "We're having tacos and ice cream every week. Perhaps a salad Saturday is an order."

He shoved Lea when he saw the overdramatic disgusted look pasted on his face, only for his hand to get snagged. Lea gave a catlike grin, triumphant, pulling Isa out of the doorway and into the light.


End file.
